What are my fears? People say I don’t have any…but let’s look at it

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I just got a very good idea from the comment section of my last post : https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/my-promise-to-myself-for-5-years-to-live-life-fully-first-installment-is-here-already-bucket-list-2013/ from my amazing family of bloggers. specially when chandanimane mentioned it specifically after Jill London gave me a compliment by calling me fearless. I might have to think hard to name some good one but little ones can take more space here…lol…friends like them make you think harder about not only what you can do but also what you can’t and why and then turn these failures into success. Thanks to you my friends.

I know I can do sky diving but if I have to meet friends in a bar for instance then it’s hard for me to go there by myself and wait. I rather wait outside on the street somewhere till they actually turn up. There is a recent incidence regarding it where I was told the bar I was supposed to go and from location I knew the place well. I arrived a little early and my friends were a bit late so that made a gap of 30 minutes. I didn’t have any clue what to do now. I walked up and down the street few times and finally went to a shop for window shopping. I wanted to just go inside the bar at my own. But I couldn’t for some reason. May be because I have never done it before. But there is always a first for every thing. I thought about it in the shop and decided to go in no matter what. I saw the watch and still there were 10 minutes left. So I told myself – man up, its not a war zone you are entering girl. Then I finally walked in and I was so amazed at myself that I couldn’t even tell the bartender what I really wanted and was beating the bush for few minutes. But then I was able to finally get vodka with cranberry juice that too 2 PM in the afternoon. Very unusual of me…I know it was not a big deal, but to be honest sometimes I feel I can do things which people are scared of but at the same time I avoid doing simple things that takes not much effort.

So when we talk about fears, every one has some. I am thinking right now to come up with some as I am writing. I like trying new food at times but that’s another fear I am trying hard to overcome as I think I get used to of one good taste and I don’t like to experiment too much after that and can stick to one dish like pad Thai for a year. Insane right but I have done it… 🙂

  1. Fear of loneliness – I hate being by myself on the weekend…I have been working on this as of now
  2. Fear of boredom – I can’t stay alone and I figured it out because I get bored…although I have started working on this already from last weekend..Guys you know what I simply just can’t sit and do nothing…I am not one of those chick who can go to beach and just stay there for hours doing nothing although I wish sometime…either I have to keep swimming or just do something…Although it’s OK sometimes to be able to just relax and I am just learning to do this …after all I am in Australia so I need to be able to do that…..lol  I am just joking 😉
  3. Fear of being ignored – I think I like to be recognized and being seen and as I was a single child for long time before my brother came to the world and that makes it 7 years. Going to neighborhood was not really appreciated and I was good at studies so was always a teacher’s pet. Not anymore OK so please don’t think of making fun of me….lol
  4. Fear of rejection – I have written a complete post – Treatment of rejection – https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/04/26/treatment-for-rejection/, about it and you know what after all that analysis I have done I am overcoming this to quiet an extent.
  5. Loosing my freedom – If you know me friends then you would know my way of living. I have a post to show more about my life here – https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/04/25/what-keeps-me-alive-want-to-know-lets-have-a-look/. So now you can guess that it’s hard for me to lose this freedom and to this extent that I feel scared of being too close to people at times when they start to think that they have a say in my life and take my decision on my behalf or force their views on me. I don’t mind taking advice but I just don’t follow anyone blindly to be honest.
  6. Fear of unknown – I am a very planned person so it’s hard for me to stay in a situation where I don’t know what’s coming. Although I guess I have started to adapt on this area. Example: Hawaii trip was a big example where I had no plan and I had the most fun of my life. Here are few post (some with only pictures for quick look and others with some funny stories to tell about my trip there). Although I am still planning a lot of things as you can say but also learning to lose myself into things to enjoy it the same time https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/02/18/hawaii-day-1-started-with-a-stranger-and-ended-up-with-bunch-of-friends/                                                                        https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/01/07/lanikai-beach-kailua-oahu-hawaii/        https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/01/31/hawaii-here-i-come-here-begins-the-adventure/ https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/02/22/sunset-at-sunset-beach-with-amazing-creatures-hawaii/
  7. Fear of sickness – I think no one likes it and as we remember how bad it feels when we are sick so I am afraid of getting sick and try everything not to be sick
  8. Fear of missing an early morning flight – Oh dear…here it comes…I am so not a morning person to be frank here and I have also missed a morning 6 AM flight to Brisbane not that I slept in but as planned I was about to take the train to the airport but there were some issues with train track and I missed my flight by 5 minutes. This is not the reason of my fear though, I always panic to catch a flight early in the morning to such an extent that I have slept in the airport to catch few flights, or I should say not actually sleep but more over just snoozed. And I am not sure what to do about it really. Some times I just can’t sleep all night if there is something planned for early in the morning.
  9. Fear of dark and alone places in foreign places with guys in jacket with hood around – I have been in these situations few times and believe me it didn’t feel good. Although I get my extra senses quiet alert and I start thinking of all the possible ways to survive but it’s just the fear that makes me a bit uncomfortable.
  10. Fear of financial crisis – I do not like to be in short of money ever and I make sure I always plan my things and accordingly and I think this is my strength in a way I am so good at managing my money and budget really. But also I would not know how to live if I have no money. One of the reason I postponed to quit job and just go travel for as long as I want. Although I did quit and left my old job to do it but when I got another one then I couldn’t say no to it. Although there are some more reasons as well why I am back in Australia, but still I avoid being in financial crisis by all means.
  11. Fear  of public speaking – Oh yes, this is big on my list just like every one. If I have to give presentation I can do that but normally I am more like a one to one person really. So I become more quiet when in a group of new people. One of those shy ones…lol
  12. Fear of insects crawling on me – Ew..that’s not something I have ever been comfortable but would like to understand these creatures and over come my fear of the same one day.
  13. Fear to cook non vegetarian – I used to be vegetarian so I think I still can’t cook non-veg. I just started chicken on a flight where they just messed up with my meal and I had two choices – stay hungry or eat chicken, so there you go – I did it…I ate chicken so I am not vegetarian anymore but still prefer to eat vegetarian food only.
  14. Harrowing Heights – I don’t know how will I stand on the edge of a platform on top of a very high building
  15. Fear of blood – I usually lose my nerve a little when I see blood specially some one else’s
  16. Fear of violence – I can’t stand people starting to shout each other and then starting a fight
  17. Fear of confined space – Like a place where I can only crawl one way
  18. Fear of interviews – I just lose my nerve thinking of an interview no matter how good I am at things still I can feel butterfly in my stomach before any interview

Now I have talked about the fears so balance it out I would like to mention few things I have no fear as well. It’s for me to soothe myself and to tell myself that you are not just a scary baby my dear….lol

No fear for:

  1. Death
  2. Pain
  3. New adventure
  4. Heights
  5. Meeting strangers
  6. Visiting new places
  7. Doing some thing new
  8. Talking my mind
  9. Accepting advice and act upon it
  10. Accepting my faults
  11. Change
  12. Moving to a new country
  13. Doing what I like
  14. Achieving what I want
  15. Rejecting my own ideas
  16. Fear of commitment
  17. Fear of failure
  18. Initiate a conversation to strangers – I do it usually only when I am travelling though so its subjective really

Wow that worked out well….18 for 18 ..awesome …now I have a lot of work to do on my fears..as at least one of these will be in my bucket list item ’49 – Overcome one fear’ from my list at https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/05/06/my-promise-to-myself-for-5-years-to-live-life-fully-first-installment-is-here-already-bucket-list-2013/.

Friends, here I am opening up more of who I am because of the warmth and awesome responses that you have given so far and this gives me that extra strength to be able to do that. Telling your weakness is not easy but it makes you stronger when you do. It makes you in-conquerable.

So I would love you to

  • Share some of your fears here or
  • Tell me how can I overcome mine or
  • Tell your experience of overcoming some of your fears or
  • Just anything really that you would like to tell us …may be just your thoughts about this post 🙂
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