How can we predict future when things are changing every moment?

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Many of us want to know what will happen in future? We are so curious at times that we even try to get some professional help to predict the future. But it made me think one day discussing it with a friend that every action in present leads us to our future and each action we take differently will change the direction to the future resulting into a unique future. I have not studied this subject very well so I would not question what people with vast knowledge might have to say. Although I would love to discuss it with the people reading here whether they agree with me or not.

I think it’s not possible to predict future as we every moment as we breathe creating it and working towards a unique future every moment. For example if we start our day with a bad or unfortunate incident and then depending upon our reaction to that even the whole day changes accordingly. Either we can choose to stay happy and try to smile considering what has happened can not be changed and try to make sure that rest of the day is better. Or we can feel bad about it and crib about it the whole day and then have an awful day. What I am saying is a very common thing and hopefully we all know it, but it is difficult to actually react in positive manner if we are not positive inside. So we not only have to think about the outside reaction but also need to think why we react in certain manner. Sometimes it might happen that we have something going on inside that might make our reaction go bad as well even if nothing big happens.

Lets close our eyes, now you would think how will we read this post then ..hehehe OK let me tell you then, this is an exercise you are supposed to do if you really want to know what’s going on inside you right now. And if any thing happens in next few minutes what will be your reaction. So what you need to do? Simple close your eyes for 30 seconds as it will be hard to do longer at first and then think how you are feeling – uneasy, frustrated,happy, sad,angry,bored or any other feeling. Then put it into the category of positive and negative. Now this will most probably drive the reaction force from you in case any thing happens. So make sure you try to change the inside as much as possible. It will change your reaction to things quickly and in a nice way. You will not regret why did you not do something differently to change the series of events in your day. What happens at times is not in our hand but what happens after that is definitely in our hands and there we can make a difference. Think about it and take one day at a time and observe the events and see how you made a difference.

Now you would think all this philosophy I am telling here, any one can  say these things. But the point is whether I practice this myself or not. Then I would tell you my experience and how it changed things. Just a simple example out of my many experiences – I was getting bored for many weekends. I talked to a very good friend regarding this that since I have come back from travelling I am facing some problem settling in normal life. And as I have just started fresh in Sydney so not much plans are made yet for the weekends and I am so bored. He said one line  – ‘Where is boredom? Is it here on the table, on the walls or on the floor? It is in your brain.” And I am so happy that I had that conversation with him as I did realize that I am always busy doing something or the other and in this race I have almost forgotten to sit back and relax sometime. Or not panic if there is nothing much happening on the weekend. This Saturday, I made sure that I am feeling good doing anything and I watched movies, went out to buy some washers for the tap, came back in windy weather and smiled looking at the cloudy sky. I then decided not to go to a party that was decided long back looking at the weather as it might have a really bad night to go out. But unlike other times I did not feel bad about any of my decisions taken during that day. Then before going to bed I decided to have a very good Sunday. I slept around 1:30 AM which was quiet late but nothing unusual  But it could have made me asleep all afternoon. But no, I had decided in my head that I want to be able to say that I had a wonderful Sunday. So I woke up around 9 AM and it was a beautiful sunny day. I had breakfast, watched a movie in a relaxed manner then painted my hands with Heena (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehndi). Then went out with my friends and you know what now I am able to say that I did have an awesome Sunday. So, now you see – make that decision in your mind of having a good day and trust yourself that you are capable of having a good day and you deserve it. Then see the magic 🙂

Have an awesome week ahead dear readers! And this is your moment to make that decision that you will have a good Monday tomorrow. You know what, that smile suits you so make sure you smile at the end of this post as that will make my post worth a million if you do 🙂

Life as we know it – Learn the Truth (Part 4)

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Links to the last few posts in this series –

https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/01/17/unlearn-to-learn-the-truth-part-3-sky-high-angels-and-god/

https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/unlearn-to-learn-the-truth-part-2/

https://talkingexperience.wordpress.com/2013/01/13/unlearn-to-learn-the-truth-part-1/

Note: No connection but you will find it interesting to have a look I am sure.

Days when you feel as if you have achieved nothing, moments that pass without registering your presence. Life as we know it has different phases and cycles everyday. All you can do is to accept. We all are humans, very prone to errors and mistakes – we all are social creatures bound to love and hate. Sometimes its love that gives us a lesson, the other times its the feeling of hatred that leaves the imprint on our heart. But we all are part of this infinite universe, playing different roles in life. Dreaming, when we can, moving forward when we can, complaining, procrastinating, cribbing over small or big things in life.

One day it all changes by some harsh and true words or fatal accident or illness or close encounters to death. We stop for a moment and realize its all for nothing. We try to cling onto things that will never matter in our life one day. We try to get attached to things that we wouldn’t exist in future. We all think that things will make us happy, but it will hardly last long. So what now when we have already lived our lives chasing things that never important. Things that didn’t last long in our life. What can we do now to undo what has already been done.

Change is what make us think this and change is the answer to this as well. We can not travel back in time, but we need to realize that time spent thinking about past is also not going to make a big difference. All you can do is focus in the present. Mind you, not even future is in our control as that is the place nobody can go to until unless it transform into present one day.

Remember we are born and given a life with a simple task – to live. Is that so difficult to do? We are basically designed to do that only. How to live? Is that what you are thinking? Or is that not what we are doing already? Either way you should do some retrospection really. And see how many of us are actually are sleeping properly or eating properly. Now I might start sounding a bit harsh when I say – All we are doing is being lazy and stuck in this cycle of daily routine and then our sub-conscious mind take over and we almost switch off our brain from time to time as there is nothing much to think about. We are prone to get accustomed to habits and in today world we get accustomed to not doing new things very often in life. We simply don’t like change.

Do you want to know what’s right and what’s wrong then? Get the basics right then. No point of reading a lot and get a lot of theory in your mind and keep yourself even more puzzled. Its like trying to remembering the complex formulas of mathematics whereas the basic formulas are not clear. When we start studying, the first thing we learn is fundamentals and when you are done with it, then you move to something more challenging. Till then you keep practicing the basics.

Do you want to know what’s happening with most of us today? We have forgotten the basics and we are stuck with those complex formulas and we are trying so hard to fit those into life and make some sense of it. Let’s take a simple example of eating habit. How many of us will say that their eating habits are perfectly good? Not many I believe. In today’s modern world we are so much dependent on fast food and preserved food. Even think of skipping a meal for working harder at times. Is it worth? Why are you working – I know not for food only its for your brain but how can you expect a car to perform the best with no fuel? Other than gym or some exercise, do you really listen to your body? We are pushing ourselves over the limits with things these days. And then what about soul.

We are not just body but soul as well. What are we doing for it then? We want to have the world to ourselves at time, we want money, success and a lot more. But we you think you can handle it all when we can’t even take care of the most precious gift that God has given us – body, mind and soul. Can you replace them ever – No. So what’s the rush to achieve everything whereas you have the most of the universe – yourself. Stop for a moment, think and try to take this all in and think about it. I might sound a but preachy here but truth is true words don’t taste good similarly as medicine is not always sweet but its important to heal from it. Similarly we need to work on ourselves to heal our broken heart, heal our bashed body and heal our mind for a healthy mind, body and soul. That’s when you need to think about other things when you are capable enough to take care of yourselves first.

Note: I was so sleepy writing this that I didn’t really care much about making it at a polite note so hope you take the crux and don’t mind the harsh tone. Although sometimes we need to be jolted to wake up from this sleepy way of living. 🙂 Have a healthy mind, soul and body that will lead to a happy life!

 

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Invention of Love

Invention of Love

The title originally chosen for this photo was – ‘Love is in the air – Someone is trying to live & Someone is trying to share’.

But then I wanted to write something relevant about this picture and started thinking about love. What is it all about and how it all started hence I felt that the current title would be more appropriate. As this photo has got five different pics merged into one.

  • The black & white is my experiment trying to capture all the pics of couples in the garden. This made me feel – Love is in the air.
  • Then a girl was enjoying the day sitting in the garden and her red hair attracted my attention. She made me feel that you can love yourself and enjoy the day at times as well.
  • Then third pic is edited in instagram and I took it today. It made me feel that sometimes we want to share the things in life we see with others – We want to share the love.

Today when I merged these different pics then they didn’t look different to me and merged into one emotion – Love. Its everywhere. I sit in the train and see couples, babies with their parents, friends, families. If I close my eyes and think about the good moment in my life then I find myself in love with my life.

I smile while walking on the street after seeing these beautiful emotions. I don’t need a present to be happy. I smile when I see my flatmate who is awesome. I smile when I hear the beautiful lyrics of a song. I smile when I think God is there to take care of me.

Simple but powerful – the nature of love and it can change our life. We don’t need someone else to give it to us. We can love ourselves and give the same love to others. The more we give the more it increases, that’s the beauty of love.

So the message for today is – Love. Think about it and let me know the various things that make you feel this emotion. Let me tell you its very easy to feel this emotion being human.

What will be my gift to the world…

What will I give back when I have taken so much from the world?

I came to this world with nothing (empty handed and naked baby) and had nothing but fortunately today I have everything one can live his/her life comfortably with. Give and take is like action and reaction. I am writing this post while sitting idle in the airport, waiting to go home once my friend confirms that his night shift at work is over. And makes it 2 AM in the morning. SO any mistake in spelling or grammar might occur looking at the time. But I don’t intend to edit this as its not about my knowledge of English language or anything so we can ignore it for now.

A thought regarding death has made me think while reading this book – ‘The Last Lecture’ by Randy Pansen. And I have just read 18 pages of the book so far. Sometimes we try everything to avoid the inevitable question. And this is the exact moment when I am confronting myself with the question – What have I given back to the world that offered me so much of everything I needed in this life so far. It might not be like taking a loan from someone where you are bound to pay back. But moreover it’s our moral responsibility . Its like when someone does something good for us and we feel grateful to them and want to do something in return. And at times we do something good for someone else if given the chance to show our gratitude towards the world and good souls living in it.

It is our moral responsibility that we can easily ignore if we choose so as no one is going to point a finger on it. It is one of those duties that we do when no one forces us to do. I think I have tried to do few things in life although I am not sure how many of them were selfless tasks and how many of them were performed in order to fulfil the need of self satisfaction within the limits of my comfort zone.

I can write a book if I start on this topic so I should better summarize it. Things that I have done so far for society:

1. Volunteer in Red Cross for a year in Visitor Scheme.
2. Opened an youth organization – ‘Prabhat’. We used to provide people suffering from leprosy with clothes donated by the people in town. Also by spending some time with the kids in orphanage and provide them some food or fruits during our visit. Although it could not go a long way due to the politics around the area and also because of lack of determination on our part where we chose our career in different city over this when time came. As it needed our sacrifice to stay in the town to grow the organization as we were just not ready for this.

These are just two main tasks that I can remember and other than this I think I do small acts of kindness at times but nothing really big. Oh that reminds me of my own thought of sponsoring a kid in some of the developing countries if I get another job (that obviously indicates that I am going to be jobless in next two days, resigned from my current employer).

And also here are few more things on top of my mind that I would like to do in near future:

=> Volunteer in Red Cross again after a year break for longer time once I am back in Sydney
=> Help someone personally and not just financially

Oh yes I am already giving back the money to society I have earned so far by travelling around 😉 (It was a joke). See I can still crack a poor joke at this time of the day with a coffee in my system. But joke apart I am going to give it a serious thought though and may write the findings here as part of self realization. Till then you might also find it interesting to do some analysis.

Please share your thought and views on this or the things you think you have done to contribute. I would love to hear back from you my friends.

Goodnight for now. Time for me to get a taxi home and get few hours of sleep before attending to the needs of regular like in India again (as I have just arrived in Delhi from Colombo, Sri Lanka).

Sweet Dreams,
Kavita

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India (Sweet Crowded Home) – Mixed feeling while coming home

Last day in Sydney was not as I was expected. It was a mixed feeling of leaving the place that I felt home for two years with a hope to come back one day. It was the bitterness of leaving the loved ones and sweetness of seeing the family back in homeland. I was not sure what exactly I was feeling as it was not one clear feeling but mix of a lot of emotions. I was supposed to be happy like other times when I fly as it starts a new adventure. But this time it was more like leaving some unfinished business and not knowing what future has got in store.

Saying good bye to each friend personally with lunch or dinner was like bidding your last good bye. But I am sure I will be healthy and wise to come back and many more dinners and lunches will follow. I was more emotional to leave my new place which was home for less than 2 months as it became like the peaceful place where I could retire after a tiring day or feel safe when feeling frustrated from everything else. I had a lovely evening walk with my friend/flat-mate the day before I was leaving. It was first time in 2 years while living in Sydney that I had a family in form of friends. So in total it was like when you are a kid and you have to leave your friends and known surroundings when your parents move to a new town or new country. Although the child was my inner self and adult in this case was my higher self.

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Anyways flight boarded with the same attitude of a traveler – old habits die hard. All rough and tough look on my face as if saying – ‘Who Cares’. It was an evening flight so right time for dinner. First flight was from Sydney to Singapore where I quenched my thirst of movies with two new movies. It was only towards the end of the flight when I was falling asleep. A jolt woke me up and before I could behave as if the plane hit a disaster, I soon realized that we had landed in Singapore. I walked out like a Zombie but still trying to look super cool, being the single girl travelling. A staff person helped me with the next flight details to New Delhi and I killed an hour doing some window shopping which made me feel sick as I am usually never in mood of shopping when I travel (because I travel light and with only one carry on back pack, excluding this trip, and this usually doesn’t allow me to buy anything extra).

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Following other fellow passengers I boarded another flight for another meal and few entertainment shows to keep me awake. It was 2:40 AM in the morning, people were trying to continue their sleep and I felt the pressure to follow everyone else. I had one extra vacant seat next to mine where I got the luxury to keep my body in horizontal position in last 20 hours.

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It was funny how a little bit of space can make you so happy at times where you can spread your clumsy body parts and feel yourself for some time. But it was not supposed to continue for long and I woke up by the menu offered by the air hostess to the passengers in the seat ahead. Anyways I felt compelled to eat for what I had paid hence I got up and tried to open my eyes to see till where the crew had made progress in asking for menu preference. I thought of using the entertainment unit to help keep me awake. I soon got indulged into a movie and then it became easier to keep an eye on the staff serving food. I ordered vegetarian food although I was not sure whether I was hungry 3:0 AM in the morning or not. I gave myself the benefit of doubt thinking that it might be morning back in Sydney. So I threw another plate of unwanted food into my stomach. I felt like an eating machine as since yesterday I was up and eating and walking and sitting and many other routine tasks but sleeping. I think this is exactly what happens – you lose track of time and also the capability of making the right decision, when you are so tired and sleepless. Reminds me of Sleepless in Seattle 😉

Two and a half movies on the way to India and time to land in New Delhi now. Again my traveler spirit jumps at the right time when almost everyone in the plane had left; I bid my farewell to the nice staff of Singapore Airlines knowing that they had been serving me especially when I was the only passenger awake all through the flight. One time the air hostess actually handed me over the full can of juice when she realized I was demanding water or juice every twenty minutes.

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Now time to get on high alert as I was entering New Delhi airport. It is an old habit of being aware of my surroundings (don’t confuse it with spirituality) as this has more to do with making sure I do not become a victim of any pick pocketing or theft. It was only when a lady tapped on my shoulder and asked if I had an iphone. It made me feel a bit anxious as to why she is asking such question but she soon answered my silent question by telling me that she wants to inform her family that she has arrived here. I quickly emailed her family regarding the same. Custom clearance was easy and spotting my checked in luggage didn’t take me long either. I was now on my way outside the airport when I realized that taxi and other services don’t accept any card. I had to request the security in the airport to let me in to change currency. I know right I should have done it before but I learn this new rule when you can’t take your luggage in the premises of airport once you check out. After changing some money I was on my way to get a transport home when I simply asked a guy outside airport if the metro services have started from airport. Good news was that it was up and running for a month now. I paid 30 Rupees (way cheaper than hiring a car or taxi that is 350 to 450 Rupees) and went to Sector 21 (near my destination). It is advisable to check where you are going to stay as you can always take the metro from the airport. It is cheaper and very convenient air conditioning option.

Journey home was not very simple but it was nice to be in India with friends and family. As no matter how much different India is from other countries but it is the warmth of people that makes you smile and feel good. And now that I am in India be ready for many interesting posts to come from this colorful and spiritual culture. Also soon here we will be celebrating one of the biggest festival – Holi (festival of colors) in March. Hence I will update you with the same.

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Sweet-tooth….I can Understand

Who doesn’t like a candy or a lolly? At least most of us have some time in our life have savored an ice-cream or desert. I have taken a picture of my plate in Sydney Tower restaurant. I know this is too many but being a sweet tooth I could not resist but try all kinds of deserts available. Have you ever wondered how the custom of sugar started? There is almost 100 pounds of sugar consumption in United States every year. It was also called ‘White Gold’ once and the recipe was a well-preserved secret. It is a native product of Southeast Asia. Brazil produces the most today although Portuguese had brought it there in 16th century.

It was very interesting how Sugar played a major role in slavery as well. It was like a three-step cycle. Slaves would be sent to work for it, once the product is made it will be sold to Europe and then more products would be brought to Africa and slaves would be bought with them.

Britain is also argued to have lost their colonies to independence because the military was protecting the sugar islands. So the same sugars we eat almost every day in various food products have made its way to different culture and nation with a lot of stories. It was identified and used in the form of sugarcane very early in India. No wonder I have so many deserts to enjoy the evening today being an Indian 🙂

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Love Locks – Legends & Superstitions

It was a beautiful day in Mt Keira Lookout, Sydney, when I saw these fancy padlocks and the names/messages written on them. It got me curious to find out how it started. I think you might have seen such love locks at places as well.

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As per an old story it started before World War II when a schoolmistress names Nada fell in love with an officer named Relja. But then Relja went for war in Greece and fell in love with another local girl and broke his commitment with Nada. Nada could not recover from this and as a result she died very soon. Afraid from this incidents the local girls started this custom of writing the name of their lover and themselves on a lock and affixing them to the railings to protect their love.

There were many controversies and people expressed their concerns to remove these padlocks from the public properties. For example in Florence, Italy, they posed aesthetic problems and scratches on the bridge. But still we have many places where we can see hundreds of love locks.

There are many legends and superstitions attached to this custom as well. Example: there is a fountain in Montevedeo, Uruguay where it is said that if a lock with two people’s name is placed there then both will return to the fountain and their love will last till eternity.

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There are some other stories as well. But it made me think how fragile the pure emotion of love has become. We fall in and out of love so quickly. Or in other words its not love just lust.

It was a better time when people used to spend their life with the only person they fall in love or wait for them forever. Now there are so many choices available, not just around but also through online channels that the relationships have become very fragile. I am not sure I like this as we have lost the meaning of true love. We don’t stick to each other much as partners. First we fall in love very quick and then we realize he/she is not the one. And at times this search is like never ending process.

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I wish we can be more true to ourselves and not get into relationships too quick but look for true love. But the society is made of more individuals these days as we don’t live with our families anymore. And that leads to the loneliness when we try to find it with somebody. Many would be happy when they have choice to change their partners when ever they like. But I don’t think its a very good thing as life is too short to keep searching ‘The One’, rather than share the precious moments with the one we love.

I would love to hear your views on this.

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Fiji – Another name for ‘Freedom to Live’ (Part 2)

Beachcomber – It was the first island where I was supposed to stay and after listening enough about it I decided to stay there for 3 nights and then move to the northern islands. Leaving the land from Denarau, a very beautiful and well planned place to live was a nice experience. I had some pictures clicked in water before jumping into the express boat to island and had a fun trip with some of the fellow travelers in the boat. Travelling alone being a girl gets you enough flirting there I would say. But the guys are really nice and gentleman I realized as they would flirt with you but will not cross the line and that made it easier for me to travel alone. Now here I was in the famous party island called Beachcomber. The food is awesome and the backpackers here have bunk beds in open area with no walls which was a bit different from my imagination. But it was so warm that you don’t want it anyways. My first day was nice with some snorkeling and sun bathing. I met few other fellow travelers and chatted the evening away. It was after dinner I realized that the island was really small and you can walk around it in less than 20 minutes. When travelling alone I try not to drink too much or not at all. Or it was something I told myself. But who tells you that there is peer pressure at times. So I got drunk on the very first night in the resort. What happened after that – I was told the next day. I was swimming in the sand and was telling the people that I would swim and go back home. Wow that was new for me and I was getting to know more about drunk myself. That was the day and I promised myself that no matter what I am not going to drink anymore.
After two days of fun and a little bit of boredom (as I was not drinking and the whole island is about partying), I hopped on to the boat and started for my next destination – Nabula Island. There were amazing views on the way and first time I realized that there are bigger island than Beachcomber around Fiji. I got my hopes up after seeing so many beautiful islands. Nabula Island is almost at the top so you have to cross almost all the islands except Blue lagoon, where the movie Blue Lagoon was shot. It was refreshing as well as relaxing to come to this island. There is a tea shop nearby where you can get the most delicious cup cakes to eat with your evening tea. It’s open till 6 PM only so I missed it on first day but was able to get on second day. Although the electricity was not available after 8 PM but no one seemed to mind it and it seemed like travelling back in time when there was no electricity. Unlike Beachcomber there is no buffet system here. The people in the resort here serve you whatever they cook (you can choose vegetarian or non-vegetarian though). It’s like going to some one’s place where you will taste the food as per the host’s wish. It was not bad on first two days being vegetarian and only on third day everyone was looking at my plate when I was served with noodles and a boiled potato for lunch. I would not say that food was the best part here but the welcoming people here make up for that. I loved the village tour and met so many nice people that I didn’t want to leave this place for long time. Although the reality was that I was here for 3-4 days only.
I planned to do some reef Jumping now as there were some very cheap tours available here. I was the only one in the group doing it which I wasn’t aware of till everyone got dropped on the way for island sightseeing and I was the only one left with the boatman. He was a nice guy and helped me with the life jacket when he realized I am not good at swimming. It was the most adventurous things other I did till that day – snorkeling in the middle of two very big island where there was no one to see till many kilometers. I was a bit hesitant but then jumped into the water trusting my life jacket. I snorkeled for 30 minutes and you won’t believe but I couldn’t believe what my eyes were witnessing there. One of the most beautiful reefs is found near these islands and I was able to see them just few meters below my nose. There was a sense of happiness, fear (when the fishes were coming too close to my face) and excitement all in few seconds at times. Then I got a bit tired and called the boatman. He didn’t move and I could only see his boat a few meters away so I swam across to the boat. I was so tired that I could feel it in my arms, my legs and on my face as well. Finally I climbed to the boat and he told me there are three reefs that I am supposed to visit as part of the tour. So we went to the other reef. I had another amazing time jumping into another place. But by the end of second reef, I was almost dead but he insisted that the third one is the most beautiful and I must visit it. I mustered some courage and literally pushed my limits by jumping for the third round. Then the boatman told me that the island is not far and I should better swim towards it and he will go and check on others while I snorkel here. That was it; I couldn’t believe he just asked me to swim towards that far looking island. And before I could recover from the news he was gone. What’s now, I was here in the middle of nowhere surrounded by this marine life I was not sure I could trust. I had no choice but trust myself and submerge into the water to enjoy the beauty down there and forget about my tiredness completely. Having no other option I started to focus on exploring the reef and soon I was encountering a bunch of small fishes teasing me on my face as if they are asking me what I am dong in their territory and I had no choice but look at them innoMarine Lifecently as if I am pointing to the boatman who left me here without my own will. I somehow covered 70% of the distance towards the island. Now during rest 30% I was bloody tired and felt like crying. I covered the last 25% distance and I was overwhelmed by the swimming. The water was only knee deep now and I realized that I can rather walk now. But my will power had given up so I kept swimming till my face was rubbing against the sand and there was not enough water to swim. I somehow managed to stand up and walked towards the shore. I didn’t want to see that boatman just now due to my anger for what he did so I walked towards an isolated place on the beach and sat there for a while. I didn’t even realized when I lay down there and slept till a little girl woke me up by asking to buy a bangle. I then realized that it was the best sleep I had in ages. I felt that a surge of relief flooded me after that thinking that I am still alive and I have witnessed the most beautiful place on earth (as this was the first time I had done reef jumping). I had no anger left in me but sheer joy.

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Forget the Differences – Make it a better place to live

Forget the Differences - Make it a better place to live

Working together to earn the living. This shows how human can work with others to achieve the common goal. When we can get along with animals at times then why it is a problem to get along with another human being. Involving with violence and developing the feeling of revenge and hate. Why is it so difficult to just love everyone and work together for a common goal – Make this world a better place!

Let Go – Gift for yourself (Part 1)

We hold on to things since we are born. We clutch our hands on whatever things we can as a baby. May be because we leave a world where we felt safe and secure for almost 9 months and then we came to this world full of people and new scenery. It’s the feeling of belonging that we all want. Although sometimes we mix that with things and emotions and memories. We are good with sticking to habits but not very good in choosing them consciously first. And since childhood we start to see the change in everything around us. If we can make ourselves flexible to do that then it is ideal. But not all of us can cope with changes that take place around us all the time and we try to hold on to different things, emotions, memories to keep ourselves in an impression that things are the same and we are living the similar life as we used to.

It hurts when we start holding on to negative emotions like anger or feeling of revenge. Any such emotions leads to frustration and as found by science that emotions work as “on-off switch” for learning. And every day we have to learn or use our brain productively most of the time. Once we have the negative feelings then our brain interpret any information as negative and we lose interest quickly. And if we are happy then the brain interprets the same information as positive and sends a message of purpose and excitement that in turn directs the behaviour towards a goal.

Just like food, it is very important what we feed our brain as well. And we are not referring to the information but rather talking about the emotions as they are the key drivers of how we are going to perceive that information and how effectively we are going to make use of it. You must have observed when we are sad or grumpy we tend to miss bits and pieces of information that we either read or watch in television. Whereas when we are emotionally light or I would say emotionally available then we are more focused on what we are reading/watching.

Let go of such emotions. Holding on to old things is not as bad as holding on to the old grudges. Every time someone either treat us bad or make us do things forcefully, we get angry and if we hold on to that anger then it stirs the negative energy in us from time to time. Also if we have fear in us about failure in life or work then again that emotion drives our behaviour. We will have to first learn what emotions we might be holding on to. We can do some exercises like writing down the past memories that still makes us feel bad and observe how we feel when we think about it. Most of the emotions can be related to fear and anger. Now I understand that process of let go is not as easy as we say. But I would say that take it as a decision you make. We never harm anyone else by hating them or fearing them but we are our own enemy when we do that. It hurts us and no one else. So why not give yourself a gift and let go of such emotions. Forgiveness is the best way to do it. Decide that you want to forgive people who hurt you. Decide that you want to change the association of your fear to certain situations and see them in new light.

It’s just a start and I am going to write more about how we can use various techniques to let go as we move on. I would like to hear your perspective and problems that you face when you try to let go. As I am no expert but I am trying to let go as well. Why not we do it together as we all need support when we try to become a better and happy person.

Heal the Broken Heart – Give me some Love

Take away the pain, take away the anger,

Power of universe, I ask you to fill me with love

Love me like a mother, love me like a father,

I want to feel your unconditional love again

I was little when I learned to be good,

To be loved

I was little when I was told to behave,

To be amongst the love ones

Make me realise that one needs no reason to be loved,

Break the old rule of give and take

You know we all need love,

You know we all deserve to be loved

So heal my broken heart and fill it with love,

Give me some peace and let me be free

Quote

You make me feel precious, you make me feel worthless. You make me feel happy, you make me feel sad. You take me to the sky, you throw me to the ground. Is it love that you are showing or the contradiction inside yourself?

We should not loose self steam or feel worthless with people who make us feel like this as its not us but it is their problem they have to deal with.

You make me fee…

I Love Myself

I brushed my teeth yesterday night and I am following this ritual for past two weeks now. I always knew it is one good thing to do but never really stick to it most of the time. Why I am doing it now? Did I changed my habit or new year resolution. Simple thing as brushing my teeth every night before going to bed, We call them good habits and never really think that we are caring for our body by doing it.

I started eating well and more consciously and I am enjoying food every time I eat it. Many people already do this but others like me never really care. What changed in me?

I have started loving myself. We all know the saying – ‘Love thyself’, but we hardly ever do that fully. One of the reason that people hurt us. Most of the times we rely on others to give us happiness and make us feel good. Why? Because we don’t give the feeling of love to ourselves. I am 28 and turning 29 next month. Too old to know things in life but still I have never loved myself fully to be complete in myself. The time I broke up with my ex, I started feeling disappointed with the world and specially guys as they always hurt you. But now I know it was not him, it was me. I never loved myself enough to know what I deserve and what shall I choose for myself. We close our eyes and do not want to see whether we really want that person in our life or we are just being desperate to have someone in our life to share our feelings and to make ourselves feel good. If we depend on others for our happiness then it will depend on the other person whether they keep us happy or not.

It is their choice we have no control upon. And don’t you think it is like being a kid again where we used to depend upon our parents to feed us and keep us safe. But now that we are old enough to take care of ourselves physically then still we depend upon others to make us happy. That means we are grown ups physically but not completely emotionally.

I would suggest to have good friends when you think you need some one in life. Because when you are not happy and hurt then no one else can give you the inner joy. Only faith in yourself and finding the inner happiness by doing things that you like is going to make you full of life. Friends help in this process by eliminating the loneliness in you and it will keep you busy with the activities you like rather than being desperate and find another wrong person for your self. Because heart without love cant give love. So first make your heart whole with self love then only is the time to have some one close in your life who will cherish having you in their life. Otherwise you will be needy rather than being in love. People can sense whether you are needy or genuine and even if you get some one nice when you are desperate, there is no surety how long it is going to last.

I am going through the whole self discovery phase at the moment and I feel from my personal experience it is amazing. Its not about what kind of person you want, it is also about whether you deserve the person you want in your life or not. Many times we choose people who want us but they don’t deserve us, this puts us in lower position where we get hurt and loose our confidence. Other times we choose the people whom we want in our life but they deserve better so we either always try to become what they want or have the feeling of guilt.

It is very important that we choose the person with the same energy level as us, specially emotionally. We usually know what attracts us physically but we do not give enough thoughts what is the emotional level of a person. And I don’t think how the person looks ever hurt us. It is always the person inside that makes us feel that we made the wrong choice. It is like buying a car, if you want it for certain purpose but you just buy it on the basis of looks then it is not going to make you happy. That means you are taking a big chance and it can work or it might not.

I know it is difficult to choose a person for yourself then because how do we know the emotional level before knowing him/her too well. Then why not just be friends and not tag it with some other name. And after a while you will know whether this is the right person for you or not. Because problem with getting into relationship is that you can not back out. You just need to break up and that hurts. Whereas as friends you still have your freedom to choose and be yourself. Its the extra layer that we sometimes put to show the other person that we are perfect for them. But as friends we do not need to do that. we can be ourselves and see whether we like each other or not. Because in case we have that extra layer then one day we will show our true self and the other person might or might not be alright with true our-self  And in case we decide to keep that layer for long enough then it is going to suffocate us gradually. Imagine covering our self from a blanket and carrying that every where with us. We will never be able to feel the world properly.

I will keep writing about what I have been thinking and meanwhile you should start your journey for self love as its you who can love you most and no one else.