Fiji – Another name for ‘Freedom to Live’ (Part 1)

If I would be asked to choose how I would like to live then I think I would like to live like Fijian. People in Fiji are the most happy and content I have ever experienced. They are happy with what they have and live life to the fullest. No pressure and no regrets. I fell in love with the place and the people in the very first visit. It was my first trip to another country at my own.  It was not that I was not old enough but it was moreover the culture I came from (India) that people thought that I am mad when I told them that I am going on holidays by myself.  But it was the best trip of my life so far. It was adventure, fun, exhausting, risky, and emotional and a lot more in one package.

When I landed in Fiji I was welcomed by the very authentic music at the airport so I took it as a good sign. First mission was to find the cab sent by my backpacker in Nadi. Oh yes I forgot to tell that it was the first time I had decided to backpack while travelling, may be that was another reason people from work find it weird that why I was interested in living with strangers as in India it’s not that common at the moment. But living in Sydney for 8 months had made me a little bit Aussie I would say 🙂 So there I was on my first backpacking adventure in a foreign country. But my looks gives me some advantages when travelling to such countries as people think I am one of them as long as I don’t open my mouth of course.

I was picked by the cab on time and I arrived to my backpacker, already booked for 2 days as I had thought of travelling the land and book the accommodation as I go. I had to be a bit brave to hand them over my passport and expensive things to put into the safe when I was living there. But then I realised that it was common.  I had no clue how I shall start the conversation with the strangers while having my dinner in the backyard of my place. So I just smiled at couple of fellow backpackers and finally retired to my place for a good night sleep. The next day I wanted to take the public transport so I asked a guy working in the backpacker and found he was interested in telling all about himself while showing me the way to the bus stop. I found it very moving the way the people there trust you and tell you about themselves.

I loved the ride in the bus as there was some pop music being played in it. There was a natural air conditioner in the bus as there were no windows in it. It had got a bell attached to a long string that goes along from the front to the back on both sides of the bus to help people signal the driver to stop it. It was just amazing how things were working here. Then unfortunately our bus broke down and gave me an opportunity to talk to some locals who were very excited to talk to me making me feel special. We waited for 20 minutes and got another bus to get us to the market where I was planning to do some shopping for fruits and possibly few other articles as I was just travelling with my carryon bag and no more. And the limit is just 7 KG hence I usually carry just some essentials and few clothes when on holidays. I will explain some more adventure related to this habit in other post. I was touched by the courtesy of a lady who in the bus realised that it is the first time I am in Fiji and showed me around the place and stayed with me for 2 hours. I was thinking that she might be a guide and thought of offering her some money. But she told me that she was just helping. It was amazing how she took so much time from her day and helped me to get all the things I needed from the market and showed me around.

After two days I shifted to another backpacker as I was not very happy with the first one. This new place was more like home as there was a Kava ceremony arranged here and I end up drinking enough to go to sleep after some time. I met two girls here who were very friendly and first time I was talking to someone also travelling like myself. Next day my opinion was changed to travel the land by my experience of getting into bus and sitting there for few hours to get to Lautoka from Nadi in hot and sweaty weather and I end up booking a tour to the islands in Fiji. 

I Love Myself

I brushed my teeth yesterday night and I am following this ritual for past two weeks now. I always knew it is one good thing to do but never really stick to it most of the time. Why I am doing it now? Did I changed my habit or new year resolution. Simple thing as brushing my teeth every night before going to bed, We call them good habits and never really think that we are caring for our body by doing it.

I started eating well and more consciously and I am enjoying food every time I eat it. Many people already do this but others like me never really care. What changed in me?

I have started loving myself. We all know the saying – ‘Love thyself’, but we hardly ever do that fully. One of the reason that people hurt us. Most of the times we rely on others to give us happiness and make us feel good. Why? Because we don’t give the feeling of love to ourselves. I am 28 and turning 29 next month. Too old to know things in life but still I have never loved myself fully to be complete in myself. The time I broke up with my ex, I started feeling disappointed with the world and specially guys as they always hurt you. But now I know it was not him, it was me. I never loved myself enough to know what I deserve and what shall I choose for myself. We close our eyes and do not want to see whether we really want that person in our life or we are just being desperate to have someone in our life to share our feelings and to make ourselves feel good. If we depend on others for our happiness then it will depend on the other person whether they keep us happy or not.

It is their choice we have no control upon. And don’t you think it is like being a kid again where we used to depend upon our parents to feed us and keep us safe. But now that we are old enough to take care of ourselves physically then still we depend upon others to make us happy. That means we are grown ups physically but not completely emotionally.

I would suggest to have good friends when you think you need some one in life. Because when you are not happy and hurt then no one else can give you the inner joy. Only faith in yourself and finding the inner happiness by doing things that you like is going to make you full of life. Friends help in this process by eliminating the loneliness in you and it will keep you busy with the activities you like rather than being desperate and find another wrong person for your self. Because heart without love cant give love. So first make your heart whole with self love then only is the time to have some one close in your life who will cherish having you in their life. Otherwise you will be needy rather than being in love. People can sense whether you are needy or genuine and even if you get some one nice when you are desperate, there is no surety how long it is going to last.

I am going through the whole self discovery phase at the moment and I feel from my personal experience it is amazing. Its not about what kind of person you want, it is also about whether you deserve the person you want in your life or not. Many times we choose people who want us but they don’t deserve us, this puts us in lower position where we get hurt and loose our confidence. Other times we choose the people whom we want in our life but they deserve better so we either always try to become what they want or have the feeling of guilt.

It is very important that we choose the person with the same energy level as us, specially emotionally. We usually know what attracts us physically but we do not give enough thoughts what is the emotional level of a person. And I don’t think how the person looks ever hurt us. It is always the person inside that makes us feel that we made the wrong choice. It is like buying a car, if you want it for certain purpose but you just buy it on the basis of looks then it is not going to make you happy. That means you are taking a big chance and it can work or it might not.

I know it is difficult to choose a person for yourself then because how do we know the emotional level before knowing him/her too well. Then why not just be friends and not tag it with some other name. And after a while you will know whether this is the right person for you or not. Because problem with getting into relationship is that you can not back out. You just need to break up and that hurts. Whereas as friends you still have your freedom to choose and be yourself. Its the extra layer that we sometimes put to show the other person that we are perfect for them. But as friends we do not need to do that. we can be ourselves and see whether we like each other or not. Because in case we have that extra layer then one day we will show our true self and the other person might or might not be alright with true our-self  And in case we decide to keep that layer for long enough then it is going to suffocate us gradually. Imagine covering our self from a blanket and carrying that every where with us. We will never be able to feel the world properly.

I will keep writing about what I have been thinking and meanwhile you should start your journey for self love as its you who can love you most and no one else.