Many of us want to know what will happen in future? We are so curious at times that we even try to get some professional help to predict the future. But it made me think one day discussing it with a friend that every action in present leads us to our future and each action we take differently will change the direction to the future resulting into a unique future. I have not studied this subject very well so I would not question what people with vast knowledge might have to say. Although I would love to discuss it with the people reading here whether they agree with me or not.
I think it’s not possible to predict future as we every moment as we breathe creating it and working towards a unique future every moment. For example if we start our day with a bad or unfortunate incident and then depending upon our reaction to that even the whole day changes accordingly. Either we can choose to stay happy and try to smile considering what has happened can not be changed and try to make sure that rest of the day is better. Or we can feel bad about it and crib about it the whole day and then have an awful day. What I am saying is a very common thing and hopefully we all know it, but it is difficult to actually react in positive manner if we are not positive inside. So we not only have to think about the outside reaction but also need to think why we react in certain manner. Sometimes it might happen that we have something going on inside that might make our reaction go bad as well even if nothing big happens.
Lets close our eyes, now you would think how will we read this post then ..hehehe OK let me tell you then, this is an exercise you are supposed to do if you really want to know what’s going on inside you right now. And if any thing happens in next few minutes what will be your reaction. So what you need to do? Simple close your eyes for 30 seconds as it will be hard to do longer at first and then think how you are feeling – uneasy, frustrated,happy, sad,angry,bored or any other feeling. Then put it into the category of positive and negative. Now this will most probably drive the reaction force from you in case any thing happens. So make sure you try to change the inside as much as possible. It will change your reaction to things quickly and in a nice way. You will not regret why did you not do something differently to change the series of events in your day. What happens at times is not in our hand but what happens after that is definitely in our hands and there we can make a difference. Think about it and take one day at a time and observe the events and see how you made a difference.
Now you would think all this philosophy I am telling here, any one can say these things. But the point is whether I practice this myself or not. Then I would tell you my experience and how it changed things. Just a simple example out of my many experiences – I was getting bored for many weekends. I talked to a very good friend regarding this that since I have come back from travelling I am facing some problem settling in normal life. And as I have just started fresh in Sydney so not much plans are made yet for the weekends and I am so bored. He said one line – ‘Where is boredom? Is it here on the table, on the walls or on the floor? It is in your brain.” And I am so happy that I had that conversation with him as I did realize that I am always busy doing something or the other and in this race I have almost forgotten to sit back and relax sometime. Or not panic if there is nothing much happening on the weekend. This Saturday, I made sure that I am feeling good doing anything and I watched movies, went out to buy some washers for the tap, came back in windy weather and smiled looking at the cloudy sky. I then decided not to go to a party that was decided long back looking at the weather as it might have a really bad night to go out. But unlike other times I did not feel bad about any of my decisions taken during that day. Then before going to bed I decided to have a very good Sunday. I slept around 1:30 AM which was quiet late but nothing unusual But it could have made me asleep all afternoon. But no, I had decided in my head that I want to be able to say that I had a wonderful Sunday. So I woke up around 9 AM and it was a beautiful sunny day. I had breakfast, watched a movie in a relaxed manner then painted my hands with Heena (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mehndi). Then went out with my friends and you know what now I am able to say that I did have an awesome Sunday. So, now you see – make that decision in your mind of having a good day and trust yourself that you are capable of having a good day and you deserve it. Then see the magic 🙂
Have an awesome week ahead dear readers! And this is your moment to make that decision that you will have a good Monday tomorrow. You know what, that smile suits you so make sure you smile at the end of this post as that will make my post worth a million if you do 🙂
When I was a child, I was happy even having a balloon as a friend. Now I am so busy judging people that even the best is not enough.
You make me feel precious, you make me feel worthless. You make me feel happy, you make me feel sad. You take me to the sky, you throw me to the ground. Is it love that you are showing or the contradiction inside yourself?
We should not loose self steam or feel worthless with people who make us feel like this as its not us but it is their problem they have to deal with.
The true purpose of our life is to be happy. Now does it means that I should go out there and do whatever makes me happy even if that means drinking alcohol, smoking, eating fast food or harming some one. No, not at all. And there comes the concept of ‘connection of happiness’. We associate happiness with a lot of things and many times they are not right. For example eating sweets to make ourselves happy when we are sad or drinking alcohol to get over some one. These are the associations that we train our brain with for years of practice.
Stop right there and list all such habits that deep inside you know are not good for you. This will not stop you from doing it but awareness is the first step. Until unless we accept that any habit is not good for us, we are not going to leave it. So it is the choice that we need to make first to know what are the things that we are doing are not good for us. Its like doing the diagnosis of a disease, only then it can be cured.
Step 2 is to decide that you want to change the connection of happiness from wrong habits to healthy and right habits. Also you are the one who is supposed to define right or wrong as for some one it can be for a run every time they get sad and for another it might be meeting a friend and talk about it. Its also a matter of convenience and available options. So it is important to give your self some options before strictly adhering to the new habits. Most of the times we do not stick to the new habits because we assume there is only one choice and if we can’t stick to it then we are a failure and we get even more sad and end up returning back to the old habits to be happy. To get out of this loop we need to give ourselves rating from 10 to 1 and 1 means that we at least tried and this way we never are a failure and its just a matter of getting more or less points. Remember that while deciding to change the connection of happiness from the bad habits to good habits we are actually choosing a path and once we choose a path then we are no longer on the old way. I would suggest start visualizing this and then you would feel it is so easy to follow.
Step 3 is practicing the new habits consciously. Any habit takes time to form therefore replacing a habit also takes a cycle. Our brain is very powerful but its like like wild horse that is jumping around all the time and its hard to train it. We need to understand that its our asset that we need to take care of and our baby that we need to nurture as well. Do not be harsh on yourself and have patience in teaching your brain the right things. Take time and be patient, the more gentle you would be the more calm the brain will become. The more strict you will treat it, the more wilder it will start behaving. Practice every day in the morning or what ever time suits you to calm down and tell your brain the right things. Tell stories to yourself just like we used to do in our childhood (reading loud) and believe me it works and it works very well.
I will share more insight into this as we move forward. I am also just practicing these things as you are reading this. So there is a lot to come. Be happy with the right connection!