We hold on to things since we are born. We clutch our hands on whatever things we can as a baby. May be because we leave a world where we felt safe and secure for almost 9 months and then we came to this world full of people and new scenery. It’s the feeling of belonging that we all want. Although sometimes we mix that with things and emotions and memories. We are good with sticking to habits but not very good in choosing them consciously first. And since childhood we start to see the change in everything around us. If we can make ourselves flexible to do that then it is ideal. But not all of us can cope with changes that take place around us all the time and we try to hold on to different things, emotions, memories to keep ourselves in an impression that things are the same and we are living the similar life as we used to.
It hurts when we start holding on to negative emotions like anger or feeling of revenge. Any such emotions leads to frustration and as found by science that emotions work as “on-off switch” for learning. And every day we have to learn or use our brain productively most of the time. Once we have the negative feelings then our brain interpret any information as negative and we lose interest quickly. And if we are happy then the brain interprets the same information as positive and sends a message of purpose and excitement that in turn directs the behaviour towards a goal.
Just like food, it is very important what we feed our brain as well. And we are not referring to the information but rather talking about the emotions as they are the key drivers of how we are going to perceive that information and how effectively we are going to make use of it. You must have observed when we are sad or grumpy we tend to miss bits and pieces of information that we either read or watch in television. Whereas when we are emotionally light or I would say emotionally available then we are more focused on what we are reading/watching.
Let go of such emotions. Holding on to old things is not as bad as holding on to the old grudges. Every time someone either treat us bad or make us do things forcefully, we get angry and if we hold on to that anger then it stirs the negative energy in us from time to time. Also if we have fear in us about failure in life or work then again that emotion drives our behaviour. We will have to first learn what emotions we might be holding on to. We can do some exercises like writing down the past memories that still makes us feel bad and observe how we feel when we think about it. Most of the emotions can be related to fear and anger. Now I understand that process of let go is not as easy as we say. But I would say that take it as a decision you make. We never harm anyone else by hating them or fearing them but we are our own enemy when we do that. It hurts us and no one else. So why not give yourself a gift and let go of such emotions. Forgiveness is the best way to do it. Decide that you want to forgive people who hurt you. Decide that you want to change the association of your fear to certain situations and see them in new light.
It’s just a start and I am going to write more about how we can use various techniques to let go as we move on. I would like to hear your perspective and problems that you face when you try to let go. As I am no expert but I am trying to let go as well. Why not we do it together as we all need support when we try to become a better and happy person.
Angry heart shuts all the doors, cry out loud and jump up and down till you get it out. Then only the light of hope will brighten the soul and give you ultimate joy.
Long day at work can easily make you cranky.
I was walking back home from work today. It was such a beautiful day. Cool breeze made me feel calm and very relaxed. I felt so much energy even though the day had been really long at work. I felt the air I was breathing, I saw people walking on the footpath, I saw the beautiful buildings made by man, I saw couples holding hands with the ray of hope in their eyes, I crossed a park with a small lake where lots of birds were chirping, I saw the diners enjoying their meal in relaxed environment and I also saw a girl running and looking a bit scared, then I saw a guy holding a map who was trying to figure out the directions and so on. What was the difference – I was living in the moment. I was living the present and cherishing it completely. I did not think about the past and I was not lost in the dreams of future. I was aware of every moment I lived today evening.
And what was the result – I was smiling as my heart was full of joy, joy of life, joy of sharing my life with so many other fortunate people, joy of being able to feel things and joy of being able to love everyone in my life. I must have looked ridiculous as I was smiling at my own on the way back home. But it was hard to contain that joy in me and make a poker face. Happiness was all over my face. I felt like dancing all the time and I felt so light that I felt I could run faster than time. It was the evening I think I have not experienced in ages or perhaps never before. It was the evening of utter exuberance. It was as if I had nothing to worry about in the world. And how did it happen.
For that we need to become like a child and free ourselves from everything but the joy of life. Every breathe we take is the blessings and is full of life. We have the gift to feel the very air we breathe, the water we drink and the land we walk upon. To be able to enjoy again we might have to look back and remember how we used to behave as a child. We need to learn from children. We need to start observing nature. Is there anyone out there who did not enjoy running in the part as a child? Is there anyone who actually liked the Air-con more than natural cool breeze when growing up, of course depending upon the temperature it might be a differnt case? Who didn’t like to play with water and get dirty in sand/soil, if given a chance?
That is because we are born with natural instinct and we lose them as we grow up or I would say stop listening to our inner self. To learn the truth and be happy again forever we need to go back to the roots and re-activate those functions we are born with. The powers that we have as humans, we need to find it again and use that energy to make our life fulfilled. In some countries/ cultures people say that children are the purest form of God. Why because they are more like God I think because they are free spirit, with no fear, happy, sensitive to others, friendly and open. As we grow, we suppress most of these qualities and the sufferings starts from there.
I am going to start that inner child in me and nurture it again, as I might be lost so far but not anymore.